Keeping the Faith in the Valley : What Do You Reach For When Life Hits You Hard? | Dr. Matt Ragsdell | Men’s Breakfast

Introduce, uh, introduce our guest, and so I’m gonna read something I found on one of the places you have worked, okay?Dr. Matthew Ragsdell is a board-certified orthopedic surgeon with an additional certification in sports medicine.He specializes in sports medicine for hip, knee, shoulder, wrist, elbow, and ankle injuries.Dr. Ragsdell prides himself on spending more time with his patients than the average orthopedic surgeon, taking the time to explain options to his patients from conservative treatment up to surgery.So, uh, we’re honored to have Matt here, but for me it’s a special privilege just to have my brother here.So really he’s here because he loves the Lord, and he wants God to, uh, speak to you through his life.And so I’m, I’m really thankful, Matt, that you’re willing to share from your heart, uh, to us as men, and, uh, I know this is gonna be a blessing today.So let me just pray for us, that our hearts will be open to hear, uh, what he has prepared for us today.Lord, thank you so much, uh, for your servant, Matt.Thank you for your, his walk with you and how you’re working in his life.Lord, I pray that for each man today, Lord, that we would have spiritual ears to hear the takeaway, uh, Lord, the big ideas, what you want us to grab ahold of today.Because you’re walking with us, Lord, and you have a purpose for us, and you want us to, to, to grow and, and to walk with you, Lord.Work today, we pray.In Jesus’ name, amen.So let’s give Matt a hand as he comes.Hi.How are you guys doing?I know many of you guys, and it’s a pleasure to be here and an honor to speak with you this morning.Uh, like Tom said, I’m an orthopedic surgeon, and I’ve been out of training since 2008.Um, my, umRight now I’m working up in Memphis, Missouri, which is Scotland County Hospital.It’s a inter- it’s a really neat, um, experience.It’s, it’s a critical access hospital, and so it’s a s- you know, so I’m the only orthopedic surgeon, and, uh, a lot of Mennonites and Amish around, about half of the community.And, um, so it’s, it’s also funny that during planting season, that type of stuff, I mean, I, I go now, I’ll have like 6 patients during planting season ’cause nobody comes in, you know?And then it’s a very episodic practice because of that.But, uh, I really, you know, wanted to introduce myself.Yeah, I am a doctor, but I’m really just Matt.Many know me as just Matt.You know, Mr. Hargis, I wanted to honor him as my history teacher at Hickman when I was going through.And, uh, he, I, I remember, you know, him being a very no-nonsense history professor, and one of the reasons I love history.That’s right.Uh, the title of what I wanted to talk today about was just keeping the faith in the valley.Amen.And, uh, that’s, you know, forgive- I’m almost at, at the point of crying already, just getting into my personal testimony on this.So I apolo- forgive me if I cry, you know?Give me a second.But- That’s all rightso this a little bit deep, a little bit, you know, hard things, but I think really one of the most important things in our Christian walk, really, and it’s something I’ve been dealing with over the last several years.Um, when we look at, um, our lives, how many of us can remember the best day of our life?I mean, there, there you can look back, many of us can point out something and say we remember that best day of our life.How many of us can remember the worst day of our life?So we look, and w- what affects us more?You know, really when we look at that, we don’t take our best day and spread it over our life very well.Mm-hmm.point.You know, we take our worst day, and that causes us to be depressed, anxious, and to really have destruction come into our lives in many t- many ways if we don’t handle it correctly.And so part of maturity as a Christian, and going from a, a young man or a young Christian to becoming a mature Christian and a mature man- That’s goodis learning how to deal with the valleys in our life, and how to continue a strong faith in Christ even when things are not going our way, even when we have devastating problems happen in our life.So that’s really the topic I wanted to talk about.You know, my, my personal testimony is, and I’m, I’m gonna try to be stern on this, ’cause I don’t wanna break down crying.I’ve already cried preparing this, so that- that’s enough, right?In 2017, after years of trying to have a child, and of me being told I probably couldn’t have a child, um, we, my wife and I, Cassie, we got pregnant, and everything seemed to be going great.We, uh, the ultrasounds were going well.Everything looked perfectly healthy.We had a little boy, you know, in the womb.And, uh, around 23 weeks along in the pregnancy, Cassie went in for a check, uh, because she’d been feelingYou know, she’d done the typical thing where she called the doctor, said, “Hey, I’m feeling some contractions.”They completely blew her off and said, “Oh, you’re just feeling these Braxton Hicks contractions.No big deal.”And so it was like, “See us next Wednesday.”And so the next day she called, it’s like, “No, they’re, they’re serious, you know?We, I”And so they said, “Okay, well come in.We’ll do the, the, you know, test r- run on you.”And, I mean, she was in full every 2minute labor, you know, at, at 23 weeks.So they rushed her to the hospital, and our son was born a week later at 24 weeks.Sorry.So little Beau Ragsdell was, was born at 24 weeks.I mean, he’s like this big, but a full little boy.You know what I mean?Just a, a precious little boy.And he, he lived 3 days.Oh.And then he passed away, and my heart wasYou know, I could feel his spirit leave his body.So I’ll get over this crying part, but all of you probably have had the similar or worse things happen in your life.I, I don’t stand up here and pretend that my, uh, difficulty is anything greater than your difficulty, for sure.I mean, I’m blessed.I’m so blessed.We have a son now, Ezekiel, Matthew Ezekiel Ragsdell, who we call Zeke, who’s about to be 7 years old, who’s precious and, and wonderful, that God has blessed me with.Yes.But, you know, that event, having that child only for 3 days, but, uh, i- it was so traumatic, you know, in my life, want- wanting a child, that, you know, it really led to a depression, which if any of you who’ve been through a time of depression know that then it leads to anxiety, and then it leads to all kinds of health problems.Uh, you know, for me, then it, it led into 3 bouts of COVID, 2 of which were very difficult to get over.Uh, and it, it, you know, your health just kinda deteriorates.Uh, that’s on the physical side.You know, but so many times on the spiritual side of this, we question God.Right.You know, when this type of thing happens, you know, you think, “Okay, why were my prayers not answered?”Yes.”Why, why did I pray so hard to have a child, to have a successful, healthy baby in the womb, for him to be born that early, to not make it?”Right.And, uh, so many times our hearts and our minds start to question, i- is God really on my side?Is God really there?Mm-hmm.Uh, i- do my prayers mean anything?Right.And I found that many of the platitudes that we hear from well-meaning Christian people around us don’t help.Yes, sir.You know, we hear this, everything works out for a purpose.It’s all good, basically.It’s like, well, it wasn’t good for Beau.Yeah.Didn’t, didn’t work out for Beau.And so that type of thought process really entered my mind and my heart, and I, I’m blessed, and I, I never doubted God.I mean, I, Ithrough this, but I know I’ve heard a lot of people that go through similar things that really do doubt God.Uh, you know, for me, I, I really had to workI, I had to work through having, as you can imagine, in my career being an orthopedic surgeon, I have to be super steady.You know, when I go into surgery, it’s a sacred obligation.Right.And so I, I can’t be having an anxiety attack.I, I can’t be having, uh, issues like that.And so for me, it was a very intense, uh, process of trying to work through this.You know, some days I, I would have to pull over on my way to work and, and sing Jesus Loves Me.Something that simple.Uh, and you know, I, I ended up asking God, you know, it was a New Year’s, it was a New Year’s Eve celebration, you know, and you’re praying for what you want in that new year.It’s like, “God, give me a year of your favor.”You know?”Give me this year a year of your favor.”And what that really led into and what God blessed me with was a real desire to dig into His Word and to hear God through reading the Bible- Mm-hmmand understanding and trying to gain understanding in all aspects of the Bible, whether it be Revelations, you know, whether it be the Old Testament, how it applies to the New Testament, prophecy, you know, you name it.And I, I really felt like i- in the time since then, God has really blessed me in having a real desire to get into His Word, to do intense Bible studies.And, and I think the main message of what I’m trying to get across, and I’ve got a, a lot more written down that I haven’t even looked at yet here, but i- is that when we are going through the valleys in life- Mmit, it is crucial when we feel like we don’t hear from God or we can’t hear from God anymore or what, you know, what’s wrong with me that I, I can’t hear from God?God has given us His word, and we need to go back to His word.When you’re going through anxiety, you know, go to Psalms, go to, go to Proverbs, and read what David went through.Yeah.You know, go to Job.See what he went through.Go to these different patriarchs of our faith that are given to us in God’s word and realize the sovereignty of God-that we are not unique.We’re not picked out, that something rotten and bad happened to us individually.So many people have been through so many things.Good point.Uh, and I, I’ve witnessed that as a physician.I, I used to do level one trauma for years, pediatric and adult.Mm-hmm.And I, I would see so many people on their worst day, you know, of losing a child, of s- almost worse yet, a child being paralyzed.Mm-hmm.You know?Or a husband with a family waiting for him in the waiting room with a severe brain injury.Mm.You know, that I would ha- And so many times the neurosurgeon wouldn’t speak good English, and so me as the orthopedic surgeon, yeah, I’m taking care of his femur fractures, but I’m the one really telling them about what’s really wrong, you know, and that he’ll never be the same.I saw so many people on their worst day-and so many worse things than I’ve been through.Uh, but that, that’s somewhat of the introduction.I gotta keep, keep moving on.So, uh, one of the questions I had as my first point is how do we deal with our faith in God when life hits us the hardest?Is do we fall back on ourselves?Do we assume God has forsaken us?Do we question our faith?I’ve talked about some of that stuff.Can we still hear from God?How do we react when this happens in our lives?What do we reach for?Do, do we reach for worship music?Do we reach for God’s word?Do we reach for others around us that can help build us up in our faith?Or do we reach for destructive things-like alcohol- Mmlike pornography- Mm-hmmor, or things that lead us to destruction to soothe us temporarily?And that, that is so important if we wanna talk about being a mature Christian.Yes,And it, it’s something that, you know, I, I’m a work in process.Something up here I, I’m working on, I think we’re all working on, is how do we strive towards that maturity?The, the Bible talks about those who stand the test and, and are– get through all of the troubles, the tribulation, and still stand firm.That, that’s who wins the reward.That’sAnd so we have to be prepared that not everything is blab it and grab it.Not everything is everything’s gonna go great because we’re a Christian.That’sAnd I think too many times we’ve, we’ve missed that message and not been taught enough on how to withstand difficulty.Amen.Uh, one of the things I’ve noticed in the difference in studying between the Old Testament and the New Testament is oftentimes in the Old Testament, in the Old Covenant, God dealt with people groups rather than individuals.Now, there’s great examples of in the Old Testament of dealing with individuals like Job.Mm-hmm.But so many times God would deal with people groups more in the way of, uh, group righteousness, punishment, reward, uh, or blessing.Mm-hmm.Uh, and in the New Testament you see that shift somewhat to dealing with us individually.Uh, some of the greatest examples, you know, are, are David.You know, one of the things I wanted to read was Psalms 69, and it, it’s a very interesting, uh, psalm for those who are going through difficult times.As, as, as many of you know, you know, I mean, David was anointed as the king and then that didn’t happen the next week.Mm-mm.For historically they say 14 years, 15 years goes by of severe persecution before he, uh, i- is really recognizing that, that anointing.But so IAnd, and I have come to love reading longer versions of the Bible rather than just one highlight verse.So forgive me, I’m gonna read through Psalm 69.Yeah.”Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck.I sink in deep mire where there is no foothold.I have come into deep waters and the flood, the flood sweeps over me.I am weary with my crying out.My throat is parched.My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God.More in number than the hairs of my head are those who hate me without cause.Mighty are those who would destroy me, those who attack me with lies.What I did not steal must I now restore.O God, you know my folly.The wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.”Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me.O Lord God of Hosts, let not those who seek you to be brought to dishonor through me, O God of Israel.For it is for your sake that I have borne reproach, that dishonor has covered my face.I have become a stranger to my brothers and an alien to my mother’s sons.For zeal for your house has consumed me, and the reproaches of those who reproach you have fallen on me.When I wept and humbled my soul with fasting, it became my reproach.When I made sackcloth my clothing, I became a byword to them.And I am the talk of those who sit at the gate, and the drunkards make songs about me.But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord.At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love, answer me in your saving faithfulness.Deliver me from sinking into the mire.Let me be delivered from my enemies and from the deep waters.Let not the flood sweep over me or the deep swallow me up, or the pit close its mouth over me.Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good.According to your abundant mercy, turn to me.Hide not your face from your servant, for I am in distress.Make haste to answer me.Draw near to my soul.Redeem me.Ransom me because of my enemies.You know my reproach and my shame and my dishonor.My foes are all known to you.Reproaches have broken my heart so that I am in despair, and I looked for pity.I looked for pity, but there was none, and for comforters, but I found none.They gave me poison for food, and for my thirst they gave me sour wine to drink.Let their own table before them become a snare, and when they are at peace, let it become a trap.Let their eyes be darkened so that they cannot see, and make their loins tremble continually.Pour out your indignation on them and let your burning anger overtake them.May their camp be desolation.Let no one dwell in their tent, for they persecute him whom you have struck down, and they recount the pain of those you have wounded.Add to them punishment upon punishment.May they have no acquittal from you.Let them be blotted out of the book of the living.Let them not be enrolled among the righteous.But I am afflicted and in pain.Let your salvation, O God, set me on high.”And that, that’s, uh, thatI’m gonna stop there a little bit.That– David is angry.Mm-hmm.You know, so i- it’s t- showing us in this psalm the, the, the bad things that have happened, the, the difficulties he’s gone through, and he, he’s angry.And then he kinda shifts here, “I will praise the name of God with a song.I will magnify him with thanksgiving.This will please the Lord more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs.When the humble see it, they will be glad.You who seek God, let your hearts revive, for the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners.Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them, for God will save Zion and build up the cities of Judah.And the people shall dwell there and possess it.The offspring of his servants shall inherit it, and those who love his name shall dwell in it.”And so then it shifts to praising God, and you can see through this entire thing, even a- as David is angry, he is praying to God and calling out to him.The other portion in the Old Testament that really spoke to me on this topic is the Book of Joel.Mm-hmm.And I, IJoel is only 3 chapters.It’s a lot to read.So there’s a wonderful clip that I wanted to play from a pastor I love to follow and listen to.I, I believe his name is, uh, Philip Anthony Mitchell.And I’m going to have them play that clip.And it does a wonderful job of going over Joel and the message in Joel.Anyway,who call themselves Christians.The Lord is not enough.So they stray from God to loving other idols and doing what they do.And then a swarm of locusts comes into the land and ravishes their economic livelihood.It is a sign of God’s judgment, God’s discipline upon them because of their sin.And you would think that God is so cruel, he just leave them out there suffering in their sin.No, no, no, no, no.But Joel chapter 2 and verse 12.I love this part so much, God.I just want to jump off this platform and shake somebody.This is for everybody who deals with guilt, everybody who deals with shame, everybody who feels like, I don’t know if I can consecrate because you don’t know what I’ve been doing.There’s no way God is going to listen to me.He’s not going to hear me.Man, I’ve been in sexual immorality.Man, I’ve been far away from God.I know it’s a new year, but I’m not feeling God right now.I’m far away.This is for all of us who are dealing with that.Listen to what he says in verse 12.Yet even now, in the middle of your rebellion, declares the Lord.Watch this word.Return to me with all of your heart.How do you do that?With fasting.With weeping.With mourning.Break yourself.Shed tears.Cry over the issues of your heart.Come to me and tell me how far away you are.Tell me you’re cold.Tell me your prayer life sucks.Tell me you don’t read.Tell me you’re far away.Tell me.Return, return.Return to me with fasting and weeping and mourning.And I like verse 13.Rend your hearts and not your garments.I don’t want your empty praise and I don’t want no dead service.I want your heart.He says break your heart.Pour out your heart.Watch this.Rend out your heart.Tell me, God, I’m struggling.I’m struggling with lust.I’m struggling with jealousy.I’m struggling with pride.I’m struggling with anger.I’m mad at you, God.I’m mad at my wife.I’m mad at my husband.I’m jealous.Rend out your heart in fasting and prayer.Return to the Lord your God for he is gracious and he is merciful.He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and he relents over disaster.That is, he can turn off his punishment whenever he’s ready.He can move into your situation whenever.Man, he can give you a breath of Listen, you know what I want to say?He can give you a personal revival.I know you’re not going to like this one, but I don’t care.I’m going to read it to you.So when I saw that, it came across my feed this week, and I said, man, that really applies to what I’m wanting to talk about this week, is that when we’re going through these horribly difficult times in our life, the answer is to, like he said, rend your heart, ring out your heart, pray to God, call out, give God your pain, and don’t forsake God.As mature Christians, we need to learn to pour out our heart and go to God’s Word to deal with these things.Yeah, so a lot of the stuff, I made notes, but I end up talking about it, so I’m just going to, I’ve already said that one.So there’s an interesting secular song by Mumford and Sons.I love the lyric, too.And part of the lyric is, keep believing what you believed in the light, even when the darkness has stolen your sight.And that is such an important thing when we’re going through the storm of life, is don’t believe what the devil has brought in front of you in that storm.Believe what you believed when it was light, when you were on the mountaintop, even when you’re going through that dark portion of your life.And the questions I want you to ask yourself today, like what are you struggling with?What has been the worst day of your life that’s still affecting you?You know, as a younger Christian, think about what am I potentially going to go through in life?How can I learn to stand up under it?Eventually, we’re going to come to the end times where we’re going to go through some horrible things and have to, potentially have to deal with things we’ve never dealt with before.People all around the world are being beheaded and killed for their belief in Christ.We just haven’t had to deal with it very much here in the United States.How are we going to stand up underneath this?And I think a question I ask in my notes very related to this is how are we dealing with grief in our life?I would say all of us are dealing with grief in some way or another.I think some cultures deal with it better than others.You know, I was reminded when I was going through grief of some folks I knew in med school from Ukraine.And when their father died They had like one year specifically that they would grieve.They would, they would have a meal out for that person.They would dress in black.They didn’t go dancing.It, it was one year and then it was cut off.And I used to think, “Man, that is so cold.That is so cold.”And after going through grieving and, and it leading to anxiety and different problems, I thought, “Man, that, that’s probably pretty smart- Yeah,that we give ourselves an endpoint of grieving and turn it into meaning.Yes.So we have to learn to turn grieving into meaning.You know, how did I do that for Beau?Me and Cassie started a foundation and we started paying for children’s gravestones.Mm.Mm.So many families that have children who pass away can’t afford a gravestone.Mm.And so we started w- you know, paying for people to have the burial.And gra- we found that funeral homes would pretty much do the burial for free for a child, after my wife worked with the funeral homes.But we, we would buy them a gravestone.And that was a way of turning the loss of Beau into some meaning rather than just grieving.Mm.And so it’s so important that we learn to worship God in the valley.Uh, there, there’s a song that I’m gonna have him play that really ministered to me when I was going through this, a Christian song.Uh, and y- it’sThe lyric I want you to listen for in here is that, “I willWhen I’m going through the valley of the shadow of death, I will sing to the shadows my song of ascent.”And it’s a long song, so I’ll probably just have him stop at like 3 minutes in or so.I think they, they go like 6 minutes on this song.But let, let’s, uh, listen to that song.Uh, it’s the Wil- William Hastings one.be- It’s, it’s HighlandsHighlands, isn’tOh, how far I’d scale the valleys If you graced the other side Oh, how long have I chased rivers From lonely seas to where they rise?To where brokenness and that mountain.But for the one I call good shepherd.Who lied lamb, slain for me.that is such a wonderful worship song for when you’re going through difficulties to talk about how God, even when we’re going through the difficulties, is still our sovereign God.He’s sovereign.He’s faithful.And I want to end with Isaiah 43, 2.In Isaiah 43, verse 2, it says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.And through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned.And the flame shall not consume you.”And I like the next line in verse 3 there, “For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”So thank you guys.I appreciate it.And hopefully it wasn’t too heavy for a Saturday morning, but it was on my heart.And I think it’s one of the most important things that we deal with as Christian men.Amen.So.Thank you, Sharon.Thank you guys.Praise the Lord.Wow, such a great message.And I love that theme.You know, when we’re young, we have a faith, and that’s a gift from God.You know, if you have faith in God, you should rejoice because that’s something God gave you.But then life hits us, and it hits us right in the mouth.And I like what you said, Matt, that we’re all grieving something.And no one person’s situation is worse than someone else.We’ve all been, we all have a story.And we’re all going through struggles and difficulties.But if we can hang on to the Lord and keep praising Him, even as we’re going through the valleys, He’s going to grow us.It’s not, He’s faithful the whole way regardless of what we’re doing.But if you really want to grow in Christ, if you really want to mature as a Christian man, it’s going to be in this area of, Lord, what am I going to do when life gets hard?When prayers feel unanswered.When dreams and things I was hoping for, I took a detour.I’ll just, I’ll close before we pray.I had written down as Matt was talking that a lot of times, and I’ve seen this in my own life, that when you go through a setback, you say, God, are you really there?That’s kind of what we do.We ask the why question.Why did this happen?God, are you there?Maybe what God’s been saying to me all along is, Tom, are you really showing up?Are you really here?Because that’s really what I, my big takeaway for today was, yeah, when things are hard, that’s when I got to press into God.I got to rend my heart.I’ve got to cry out to God.I can’t just shrink back and go, God, I guess you don’t care about me.So in those moments when you’re going through difficulty and you’re saying, why God?That’s time to press into the Lord.So such a great message for us this morning.Thanks again for being willing to share that.Let me pray for us.Father God, thank you for your faithfulness and for your goodness.You indeed are a God of grace and mercy, justice and truth.Thank you, Lord, for your love in our lives.And Lord, our heart today as we’ve listened to one brother’s story, Lord, it resonates with our heart as we live our story.Lord, we want to be people of faith.We need to grow.We want to grow.Help us to press in, whether we’re on the mountaintop or the mountain is in the way or we’re in the valley.Lord, we want to press into you so that you can deal with our heart and that we can grow to be the men of God that you’re calling us to be, Lord.Lord, be with each person today.Give us a great Saturday.Help us to take this message and let it resonate in our heart today, tomorrow, and all week, Lord.In Jesus’ name, amen.Amen.All right, greet one another.Thanks for being here this morning.And let’s give a hand to those who cooked the breakfast.Thanks, guys.